Stop

I am stopping this blog now
not really a hitatus, just stuff. Maybe I'll post eventually, but nothing matters much with it. Life is crazy, life is love
good bye.

Back, love of theater, life,

So I am writing, maybe i will finish this post for once. There is oh so much to say, and my attention spell is oh so short. But life is amazing. LOVE LOVE LOVE (not a guy, sadly).
Looking back a couple of months, when everything seamed short of depression, I couldn't imagine saying this. Now here I am almost half way through my first year at TJ. Here are 5 things I learned. And in case you are some weird person, trying to find out things about my school, I am an anamoly and a creeper, don't consider this accurate for all.

1. GRADES AREN'T EVERYTHING
I come to this at TJ the nerd school, that took me like a 4.0 to get in. But really straight As aren't everything B+s on report cards are OK. You don't need a 4.0 to get into college, at least there is no point in obsessing over it yet. Plus you can either have your whole life / 8th periods be about bio. Or you can laugh meet people, LIVE. No grades matter, grades aren't everything. You have to learn it some time. Even if it is "situationally ironic".

2. AHH UPPERCLASSMEN
Once again this is my dear mental institution, so who knows what it is like at base school. So upperclassmen: big, scary, creepy. But they don't hurt little freshies really. What happens is, freshmen exist in their own universe, and so do the rest of the grades. Maybe because we are scarred, avoidant, stick in packs. Maybe because most of our classes don't mix grades. But they are awesome, my dear immature kids. See they want to help freshmen, freshmen just shy away. And they are amazing people, not that I know them, I can say that. Freshmen get to know them! This means not your mentors, just because i say hi to an upperclassmen doesn't mean they are my mentor. Go out explore the world. Warning: some of their weirdness, may rub off on you. But even now i can't imagine life, when the seniors are gone.

3. Love is an ick
No comment, because I am too shy. Life is not a Disney movie, even at TJ. It's ironic, all my friends see the obnoxiousness or whatever, I can't! Give me the power to be less shy, give me the magic to fall in love.

4. YOU NEVER KNOW YOUR POTENTIAL
It is possible to survive with almost no sleep, and get through 100 killer tests, and even those 2 hours on the bus, you can live. You get surprised but how much you can get through. Then again freshmen year makes you so mature, to the point of no return. Then you deal with things you wouldn't expect. You handle them how you wouldn't expect. I am sorry if this is offensive, but i am referring to my L and Gs, I don't care personally. Just shy, but I came today didn't I. So yes, you know who you are, I do not care. Plus controversy apparently makes popular blogs.



5. TJ DRAMA IS LOVE LOVE LOVE
Thats all I love y'all so much, you make me grow, here is what I now know (caution: inside jokage ahead)

• There is 18.268 L if primer
• Landmark Smoothies are amazing for real
• Blacks are harder to buy then it seams
• You can go through to weeks with no sleep
• The cookies the main sponsor makes are heavenly
• Wood room
• Don't trust people in Assasins
• Don't trust the most reliable people
• Do not even think if trusting anyone fully ever
• Touch Phsyce(sp?) die
• Free fallin/ circle/ american pie
• Get paint on the metal = die
• Fences are just <3/hate
• Flans are a tasty dessert XD
• Tech scare actors, pawning them
• Green Room books
• so much more

Sorry I rambled, I hope someone still reads this. feel free to comment.
Question( also supposed to attract listeners): What did you learn freshmen year?

feet

I just ran through the grass barefoot, and it felt like nothing else. It was like a childish sensation, that feels your heart with joy. Nothing compares to feeling the grass, the texture of the driveway against your toes, squishing between your feet. I just ran through the grass barefoot.
Yet with all the glorious sensation of this, it reminded me inevitably of camp....and E. When barefootness wasn't just a moment of spontaneousness, but a way of life. You'd do it anytime, it was possible: not during activities, but every minute in between. Sometimes the counselors would tell you to stop, but you'd do it the next day. They did it all the time, why couldn't you. It felt natural, the grass softer then any rug, the mud squeezing between your toes. Not that you minded. No, mud was good, it made the random patch of grass behind the dinning hall, pleasant to walk on. Mud smoothed the rocks, and it felt good. And in any chance it was better then shoes that never dried or go clean of the mud. Feet were meant for this, they didn't care. And it was camp, dirty feet bothered no one. Those were the times.
I ran through the grass barefoot. It made me feel like it was summer again. Like those precious week of carelessness, that put life in a fresh perspective. It is not yet cold, fall hadn't taken over everything. But summer is gone, the tiresome page or reality has begun. No longer will it be warm enough to kick off your shoes outside. Nor will there be time or mood. But for now it felt a bit better, like summer is still possible. I ran through the grass barefoot today.

Why

Why am I not writing at all? Not here, not in my novel land. In fact I feel like I am cheating writing here instead of my novel, oh and lets not forget I need to read more. And and I am falling apart already, this is to early in the year. SERIOUSLY, what is happening to me! Craziness.
Ah well people are annoying me with hatred of the new Facebook- why don't I write about that. Too lazy? Tired? uninspired? I need motive, before I fall apart once and for all.

mehhh-don't you love that word

Is it a trend, that I promise to write, then don't. I have an excuse school. It came like a monstrous wave, aside from the fact that the teachers simply plunged into it, I also got overwhelmed and over exhausted. But since this blog was intitaly dedicated to school might as well rant about it. I think i am starting to learn the ups and downs of TJ or just high school in general. There were so many disappointments, that it seamed impossible to believe this is one of the best schools in the country. Later I will:
a. write more in depth about everything.
b. change my mind, when I have more time to adjust and be rational about things.

So the first big disappointment is the teachers, I mean I didn't expect perfection, but what I got was far from it. Just a starting line up:
Gym: Yeah lets NOT go there
CompSci: Kind of nice, but nothing special or caring about.
Math: Boring, and by rumors mean. The class is boring and easy in general, did I mention that.
French: Mehhh that covers it. Compared to last year, oh well no one can compare to the stellar Mrs.R and her cochon dingue, who I named my forum after. She is the one teacher from last year I miss. And instead of anything good I get this.
Tech: Okay he is one of the few good ones. It is his second year teaching and he is laid back and fun.
English: She is happy, it's actually scary how much she smiles. Either its superficial or she is messing with my world view. No one is so happy all the time. Plus I heard her teaching style isn't the best.
Bio: Nice, she intimidates us about things, but not in a bad way. But her class is really hard, though past students love her in the end. We will see? As I want her to remain one of the two good teachers.
And thats it, making Red Day have all the good teachers (and English) and Blue Day. Those are our blocks by the way.
Also everyone has lunch at the same time, sounds great? I thought so too. But having the freedom, makes it harder to get everyone together or decide who of your friends to sit with.....but I think it will work out on its own.
And the 1 hour+ bus ride/ twice a day is no good.
Despite the general mehness I will now turn to the positive.
HIGH SCHOOL= FREEDOM! thats it there is nothing else to say. And that helps it makes it all Okay. Plus all the awesome new people I met.
Like I mentioned before I am tired, and am going to have tea and sleep.

Sorry

Sorry, I have abandoned you.
I had no right and in no way am I leaving up to the expectations of the readers, even if they don't exist. It wasn't all in my hands, travel took over. But in the end I started to drown losing interest and any initiative. It's almost natural instinctual, but with so much time off and the summer, I start to deteriorate, and it seams irreversible. I want to get back on schedule, I need school to start. Otherwise I feel I will deteriorate. I'm not writing, studying, just endlessly looking through the nothing of cyber space. Knowing it's wrong and failing to take control.
What has become of me? Where is that motivation and fierceness that pushed me to fight for everything and to win?
It takes one inch of water to drown, but there isn't even that much. Drowning on Dry Land- a song, also an episode of Grey's Anatomy, so fitting. This makes me sound morbid and depressed, yet it is so unfitting to my position. I should be happy, my life could not be better, and anyone else would. pas moi. We all get periods to be miserble, but this has been dragging on in a mundane monotone.
Just another week I should be OK, or so I delude myself. but a new chool has to breath life into me, so many new experiences, such a change, can't leave a person lifeless. No it takes over with addreneline, caffeine and new life. And while it would be logical to take over my state and get into action, I don't, just hope and wait for the new to bring me life.

Arh

Camp part 2

So, this post will probably be more coherent, even though \i forgot all my notes on the other computer. We'll see.
About counselors, it would probably take forever and bore you to death, if I were to describe all of them, but I have to mention two more.
Andy (Anders) and Espen
They are the crazy, awesome dudes from Germany. Andy is obsessed with gymnastics (it will make sense some paragraphs down) and has favorites. Espen can be a bit strict and is a quarter vampire(not really). he is also subject of another "accent" joke from camp.
"Good one" said with the accent......Someone else: "5 push ups"
See in his cabin, he made a bunch of push-up rules, like if you enter the cabin in shoes, mock his accent, curse, and etc. So more then often you would here "Insert name, 5 push ups" Not that I think most did them, cause I think one kid owed Espen like 60 push ups. Then one time, according to the boys, Noah (let's call him that) walked into the cabin in the morning in his shoes, while Espen was still half asleep. Without oppening his eyes or even moving, Espen says "5 push ups" to Noah in the shoes. Like I said counselors are awesome. Nowhere else can you find such a insane, immature, hilarious group of twenty year-olds. It's a huge part of what makes me love camp so much.
As previously mentioned, the first week passed without my significance worth mentioning, well except for Friday. One of the lovely things about "middle of nowhere West Virginia" is the never ending rain, that is supposed to be over by the middle of June, but decided to stay around. It went on and off, then entire week. Saoking all my things, which then refuses to dry, because nothing ever dries there. But Friday it showed it's full rage. It had been sprinling during art, but by the time with had to ride horses it was pouring and thundering. So we waited a bit, but alas no cease, which ment we couldn't really do anything outdoors, which is everything. Instead we were all herded to the dinning hall to do nothing, and conveniently Andy decided it would be lovely to show of his gymnastics team, which he has back in Denmark. At first it was OK, it was a different kind of gymnastics they mostly did flips and floor exercises. But then it went on and on and on and on for ETERNITY AND IT WAS ALL THE SAME THING. People just moved around doing the same stuff, only the music changed. Soon everyone was bore dot sleep, but the counclers started a drama of their own. Out of nowhere they started running around pouring pitchers of water on each pitcher. They were spilling it everywhere, like a bunch of five-year olds. Well at least it was much more interesting then the video. But that was not it, suddenly Espen and Andy grab Solene (Our Frenchie from France, she is a camper) by her legs and feet, take her over to the kitchen, dump her into one of the industrial sinks and turn the water on, so she is soaking. Legal? W ho knows. Amusing? Yeah! I don't remember the rest exactly, but later when the sun came out, they grab Stuart (A girl!) a dump her in puddles.
That evening, since it was the last one for the week, we had our talent show. Which was mostly too many blonde jokes and skits (That we were supposed to prepare, but....) It was a waste of time, but after it we had a ceremony of Lights (candles) which was so cheesy, but said. we held candles and our camp director gave a speech. then we went over to the campfire. It was sad though, because all the people who were my friends were leaving the next day, and because a bunch of new people were coming.
The next morning was a mix of desperately finishing packing and running around for emails and hugs for most. Except for the eleven of us, that were staying over for the next week. Rather quickly we left for our day trip. First it was nice and sunny and we went to visit the Radio Telescope, which was supposedly fun and educational. After it was time for lunch, and the sky's began to cry. I mean it was pouring hard, luckily there were pavilions at the picnic area. Bu the end of our meal, it hadn't ceased, so we couldn't explore the ancient rail station, we were at. But we still ran over to the store, once more getting completely covered in water to get ice cream. Though it made it not matter, for it was such a delight for a change. Finally we went over to Snowshoe, where we were supposed to swim in the pool. But alas somewhere in the 15 mile radius dampened our plans. We wandered through the town, then went back where we had movie night. Also that night the five of us had only Jess, the CIT, in the cabin so we stayed up talking like for two hours.
The next morning started to feel like a bad one, evil meaning new people meaning change was coming and it felt wrong. but quickly everything turned around in a spontaneous water fight. Counselors and kids were running around pouring water on each other from water guns, water bottles, and anything else. Once Espen ran into the kitchen to get more water, and Lesley and Sam were making a cake for Espen and Andy, who were having birthdays the next to days.
They ask, "Are you allergic to eggs?" He denies it, gets their plans and start to leave, but quickly they chase after him and smear cake mix on his head. Soon eggs entered the fight, which were either thrown at the boy's cabins and cracked on people's heads, along with cake flour. In fact Lesley was almost growing a cake on her head. it was loads of fun and probably if any of the new people were to come so early they would freak-out. But the only signs left were the ubiquitous egg shells on the ground. After we went up to the pond, where the war continued, by flipping over people's tubes and pushing everyone of the dock. Lesley's shoe fell in and was never found. But all good must end, and we soon had to go down to clean up and get ready for new people. There was more bad news, as I was to be moved to an extra cabin that was being open. Since it would be the largest week ever, this resulted me in almost freaking out, as all my friends stayed. But since I was the first one there, I got the best bunk ever and quickly settled in. For the next two hours I wandered sort of pointlessly, waiting for someone on the shuttle, which was late. Finally I went out another time, to hang out a towel that still hadn't dried. I just heard the shuttle arrived, and then I noticed her. Five seconds later, I realized who it was, and at once I was running over. Immediately Beth realized and we embraced in a hug. In case you missed it, Beth is the single most awesome counseoer for last year. And for now it didn't matter, how rather awful things were, I was happy. So for the next hour, I wandered after her,talking, she showed me the shack, that she was staying over at. She had come for only two weeks this time, as she wasn't staying here the whole summer. Here is the infamous shack:

Content: too many mice, two beds with real mattresses unlike those things on our bunks, lovely spiders, no windows, one special counselor.
And this is Beth (right) and Cynthia (left) deeply concentrated on the complex game of spoons.

I have to add that in the afternoon it started raining, which complemented the mood in perfection.
Our cabin now was a smaller one with 11 people, while the two larger ones had 18. we had for annoying girls from Spain, who talked about everyone (well it seamed that way), 2 best friends, and 2 nice, girls, who actually became my friends. And that was basivcly it for one bumpy week-end.

Finally

I couldn't write this before, not because I didn't have the time, believe me I had more then I wanted of it. For me this camp is very special, sacred and I was afraid that if I write about it, I might begin to bawl again, like on the last day. But probably it had to do with the fact that its so much to write about, that it would take a novel to cover those two short weeks. And afraid to loose it all or deal with the reality that I couldn't possibly remember all the details. For no where else do two weeks go by like a minute, yet in the end seam at least like several months. Thats what made it so hard to leave, because the bonds had time to grow deep and permanent with both friends and counselors. Now I might as well get on topic.
About three or four hours from Washington DC, in "The middle of nowhere", West Virginia; surrounded by hillbillies and some important radio telescope where the nearest Walmart is an hour away, exist a place like no others: Camp Hidden Meadows
I found it last year accidentally on the internet. My mom was first reluctant as she had no real credentials, but all expectations were soon turned around. I adored the camp more then anything else, it was a total euphoria. Both from it being such a different experience and because of it's wonderfulness. It's no lie, that this year I was a bit disappointed by all the change. They were silly things, but for one all the counselors were new, though they seldom come back anyway. But both Beth and Shane my two faves from last year were gone, not there. This year they also added two new cabins for girls, as the camp is growing. (In fact one of my two weeks we had the most people ever: 75! My little baby is growing up) While #6 and 7 (the cabins) felt more cramped, as they fit more people, there was one huge perk: They had nice, new showers actually in the cabins...woot! And then there were changes, on the random side.

Look at the above. What color does it look? Well it is the YELLOW house, that is how it was painted and it wasn't changed since. Except now the paint has pealed enough to make it the WHITE house.(ha, no doubt as fancy as the real White House) So now the name was used interchangeably. I then came to the conclusion that creme house works or as Beth said The House, everyone knows what it is. It is the camp store/ administration/laundry/ had a COMPUTER house. Yeah that sums it up.
But before you get bored to death, about the camp itself. I did a lot of things: Wall climbing, high ropes course, horse back riding, archery, mountain biking, art, farm, sailing/canoing/kayaking,rock climbing, caving, I think that sums it up pretty much. Except for our white water rafting trip, but that is a different story. And this activities are rather common for camps, like I said before there are so many other things that make it special. Oh and of course there is the 1000 foot zip line, which is like the largest in the area or something. Here is a video taken on it, by Jess...I think.

It is totally awesome and not a bit scary.
Now if you are still reading this some interesting stuff. Our counselors came from all around the world.
Lesley: An awesome Scottish girl, whose accent (something with not really pronouncing t's became part of a joke)
Random kid: Lesley...
Lesley: No.
Random kid: Say ghetto.
Lesley: (fine) Ghe-o
I have no idea how it started, but it became the inside joke to call things Ghe-o.
Sam: Another wonderful counselor from England, she headed the movement to wake up our cabin with water guns.
Jenny (that is not how you actually spell her name): Is the sweet one from, Germany.
Nicola: She is also from England, and hates being stuck with horses everyday. Then again she is the one who seams not to care about the councler/camper thing. She will sneak with you around at night, what happened to the squirrel (a kid named Josh) in the dark.

Ok so thats all for now, I need sleep. In the next edition: Crazy Danishmen, A surprising arival, and cake fun.

Do share thoughts and comments on your own camp experiences

Procrasinating.

So I am totally procrastinating about writing about camp and probably won't. I wrote a not so good poem about it though. Read it if you dare:

Along the dusty path,
Already knowing what's ahead.
Across the rocks
Across the bridge
Now shaking.
I step towards what
is so like home.

Oh, dear camp
How much I've missed you.
You've changed so much
SO much you've grown.

The yellow house
Shed its color
and changed its name
to house that's white.

There's so much new
So many faces
So many souls
To me are new.

It's not the same
But I still love it.
A piece of heart
A piece of home.


Yeah, as much as I want to write about it, I am in the mood. And it will probably make me upset, because I am missing it so bad. But I am packing again, and Saturday getting on an airplane to fly to Russia. (Note: 1. I am from there, 2. I've been there many times. 3. Don't look so surprised) to visit family. Unlike camp I will have internet there, good internet. So don't worry my non-existent readers, I won't abandon you.

So, instead I have decided to make a list of 25 (soon to be more) things I'd like to do in my life, and yes I realize a lot of them are a tad extreme.

1. Go back country skiing.
2. Go on an alpine expedition (whatever that is called. When you "hike" through snowy mountains, and stayover in these stations)
3. Try (and master) skydiving
4. Bungee-jump
5. Try scuba-diving
6. Get CPR or First-aid certification
7. Become fluent in French and at least one more language.
8. Go on a random road trip.
9. Camp out on an island in the boundary waters (Personal story)
10. Try race car driving.
11. Finish a novel while I am in High School.
12. Get a book published sometime during my life.
13. Do something big for charity.
14. Visit Europe by train.
15. Live in Europe for sometime
16. See Wicked on Broadway.
17. Fly first class.
18. Learn to fly a plane (like that is going to happen)
19. Something private
20. Visit Paris trying to not stand out as a travel.
21. Actually backpack the Appalachian trail (and not just visit it on a day trip)
22. Backpack in Yellowstone.
23. Learn to draw well.
24. Learn to play guitar.
25. Visit a third-world country.
26. Extend this list to 100.

SO yeah....I have nothing to say.

A short post....REALLY!

I just had to share this, but this is what I heard on the radio yesterday:
"Increased gas prices have resulted in a rise of motorcycle accidents in the area"
Why, you ask? Well as they later explain people want to take advantage of a higher MPG, so they ride motorcycles (They have like a 50 MPG) and since they usually don't do it, they get into accidents. ??? Ask me, it's just a coincidence.

But a gas price joke.
A guy ask a girl out and asks where she wants to go?
She says somewhere expensive (I think she is spoiled and don't see why he would take her out, back to the joke)
So he takes her to a gas stations.
*Cue fake laugh*
Ok then, it's a short post, I am done....for now!

Sidetracked: Airports

So I was going to talk, write....RAMBLE about camp and yet here is my venty on Air Travel. How did I get to it, simple. See I was going to share some pictures from the best camp on earth! (Novel, you can argue, my camp is still waaaaay bettter) But see not only did they all turn out bad, but I couldn't take more then 20-30 because the battery kept dieing. Why? Because I took our old camera, since it would be suicide to trust a klutz like me with a 500 dollar camera. Or maybe because it could be stolen, but I am pretty sure it is the first. So I took a few pictures and I come back to find out that out new 500 dollar camera is no more, kind of. (Maybe it would have been safer with me).
As you probably don't know I am leaving for Russia Saturday to visit family and etc. But my dad went there to weeks early to take care of business stuff, he arrived, the suitcase not so. And it's been a week, a week! Now we don't have a decent camera and air travel is corrupted. I have been on many, many airplanes and something happens almost every time. And now I rant about it, it won't really do anything, but who cares.
I have to share this first, because it is the best moment of all times, from airplane flying I mean.

So a few years back my dad again, was flying to Russia again. At first it was rather normal, there might have been a delay, but he got to Frankfurt anyway, where he had his stopover. There the problems started, there was something with the weather or something of that nature, but after longer then intended he finally got on a flight.
Departure: Frankfurt
Arrival: Frankfurt
Time: Several hours.
A very long distance, I know. Why?
They took off, flew for sometime, then realized that they still couldn't land where they were supposed to. Decided to go to some other city to land, that didn't work out. Got bored went back. Though my dad eventually did get to his city, that was one useful flight. And this is an absolutely true story, trust me!
Sadly I have no more extreme stories, but I have experienced many of the malfunctions of air travel. None of the tragic ones, just the mundane, yet extremely annoying ones. More then once our baggage arrived after us, but that was only by maybe a day, not a week. Even though my mom's friend was found/arrived 13 days after her on vacation. They were definitely trying to find it.... Plus almost all of our family friends have actually lost, lost luggage on their vacations.
Summary: Don't bring baggage, stuff everything in our purse or just buy it when you get there, and get rid of it, before you go home. That way you will never loose any luggage. I mean I get that it is not easy to keep track of luggage, but airlines are way to careless these days.

Then airlines overbook flights or at least something of that nature. Which can result in two things:
1. They offer you a first class (!) seat on a different flight. Which never happened to me, how lucky, but has happened to a few people very close to me. (I seriously want to fly first class one day, did I mention?")
2. They simply move you to like the next day. This has happened twice so far in my life. Once we were supposed to fly to Italy, but they like overbooked it, so we ended up going home with our suitcases and everything and flying the next day. Hence I never got to see the beach on the West coast of Italy. Then before that, like in 2003, once more we got to the airport with all our stuff. But the military was using the planes (I don't remember exactly, but there was something about the military) so they shifted both of out flights one day. Which resulted in me spending part of my birthday on an airplane. They didn't give me cake or sing happy birthday. Luckily we could go home both times.
A friend of mine didn't get on a flight, though it was here fault, had to spend a night in an airport (Airtran's fault) This apparently can be a very amusing experience.

So then there is security, but I think I should stop myself, because the FBI or CIA or one of those things make come after me. But it has gotten at least 2 manicure kits and a Swiss army knife confiscated. I have just one question, why don't they make scissors and pointy objects illegal everywhere, I mean do they suddenly become extremely dangerous in airports...really. It's a touchy topic....but in Salt Lake City in the airport, you step into this both and it puffs air at you during security. Don't ask? I have no answer.

So this is but part of it, but the fun stuff, later. I need my sleep.
PS Sorry about the awful quality of this, I haven't been writing in two weeks, I need to get back into it.

BACK TO CIVILIZATION

Away from hillybillies, mice, not so good food, constant rain, total awesomeness.....
Actually I got back yesterday, but other parts of real and internet life overwhelmed me. It's surprising how much you can miss in two weeks. But I am tired, very tired.
More coherent post tomorrow

Sorry

I'm sorry, I haven't update in millions, it's just that you get excited you start posting like crazy, and then you get bored and distracted and you forget. I will promise to add something today. Then you want here from me in two weeks.
I will be at a lovely camp with no internet and computers. Missing all my online buddies.

Love ya!

Dreams

It does not snow in the summer! It does not snow in the summer! At least not in our hemisphere. Well it did in my dream, heavily, white snow covering the ground in the middle of June. Ugh, my dreams are messed up. Seriously!
And whats worse is I feel awful, I think I have a sore throat, and how gets that in June. Not cool. Not cool at all. But now that we are talking about dreams, I think I can have a long rant about them. That for once isn't about school, for the most part.
Ahhh.....Dreams. I love them, I adore them, they make it worth to go to bed. And really why would anyone mind a full-fledged long and complicated movie every night, even if you are like me and almost immediately forget it afterwards. (If you don't; I envy you, there were at least a few best sellers in my dreams *sighs*) Plus you never really no whats going to happen next, or in your next dream, for dreams are one of the many things we don't control, sort of. Unlike when you are making up things, for a story or something similar, dreams come form somewhere in our head. They reflect our thoughts, emotions, or somethings that we recently saw or did. This has happened more then once with books or movies that I'd see the night before. After I would sometimes have a dream with me somehow involved in it, and everything messed up. Proof a very long time ago I saw this movie with an airplane that had like a whole in it, which they had to fix. Then in my dream I was on that flight, except the whole was on the floor and we were trying to cover it with a pair of shoes? Don't ask, just don't. But sadly it doesn't always work like that, I've read Twilight way too many times before bed, and I don't Edward or Jacob appearing in my dreams. *sigh * It all somehow involves the brain, even though even scientist aren't even sure how. Its not like the person can tell them, "OK I am dreaming now." and even if they can record brain movement, there is no specific proof. If you are really interested in the science- Go on wikipedia.
But you know what they say about wikipedia

Mr. Kelly: Wikipedia is edited by random people. Encyclopedias like Britannica are edited by experts.

Carter: I actually read that Wikipedia is the most accurate encyclopedia out of all of them.

Mr. Kelly: Did you read that on Wikipedia?
-tjbash

Sorry, I had to add that. I like that quote a lot, yeah..... So like I was saying dreams represent things that happened in a really twisted fashion. And through that theoretically new ideas can be created, gah I am contradicting myself. But nothing is ever completely new, it can get close, but not be completely new.
Dreams also represent our emotions and our worries. I've had quite a bit of that too, like before I started 8th grade, there were quite a few nightmares about that. And that part is quite clear our problems don't stop when we fall asleep.

Dream interpretation
I smirk at things about dream using symbolism. To me its very absurd, very. I mean how can your brain know to use an UFO to show you are seeking higher purpose in life (that is what an old magazine of mine said). Everyone is different, and isn't it a bit much for the brain to use complicated symbolism to send you a message. Or maybe I just hate symbolism (bad memories). Still while dreams probably reflect and give us a message, not through complicated symbolism. Though I am not a professional, thats what Freud and others are for. Even so I am amazed by dreams, and possibly will research them more one day. But for now I will just keep dreaming and hope to remember one long enough, to make a novel.....like SM! (Don't ask me who she is, you have to know this. Oh I love you SM)............

What are some of your wackier dreams?
Mine tend to be epics that lead from story to story, but usually have some overbearing I-they-find-me-i-am-dead suspense.
Also when you are free-falling in your dreams you tend to wake up.
And according to wiki: Common themes in everyones dreams are "situations relating to school, being chased, running slowly in place, sexual experiences, falling, arriving too late, a person now alive being dead, teeth falling out, flying, embarrassing moments, failing an examination, not being able to move, not being able to focus vision and car accidents."
I can not disagree here, I had plenty of that.

FInally only 12% of the population dreams in black and white, poor people.
Dream away!

Lunch.....errrr Yum?

Blogger: Crazy pigs and thoughts on life - Edit Post "Lunch.....errrr Yum?"
Ahh, another popular TV ridicule, that almost every kiddy/child/"fun when you don't want to use your brain" show used. Its simple classic the evil lunch lady with slop/mystery meet/ something not meant to be edible totally delicious. Take for example the image on the right. While that is unrealistic, unless all of those government agencies have gone MIA, lunch still isn't the delightful restaurant meal. *If this is the situation where you live, please take action. Not only should you not have to suffer, it is illegal.* But today I will outline several issues from my school, most of them not even related to the actual content of the lunch tray. As in modern day, while the food looks real, no one ever said that is was. And the lunch planning at my now former school is drastic.
Background:
You are allowed to get as many of the following as you wish, one of each:
Entree, Milk (Or water for a little more), Bread (unless part of the entree), two fruits/vegetables. All for 2.25. Snacks, seconds entries and etc. Cost more.
Here is a sample menu: http://www.fcps.edu/parents/print/mslunch05.pdf

Issue #1-anti-vegetarian
So theoretically for the entree, there is supposed to be an option of meat or a meat alternative. Which is not always true. In fact many times both options have meat, I mean unless chicken tenders and pork egg rolls don't have meat, if that is the case, well I apologize. And sometimes when the menu says they have it, they don't. (See bellow) Although they always have half frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and gross salads, that even a veterinarian would not like. This is not a little thing, and a pretty big trend. It would only fair for the school system to accommodate those who don't eat meat, as they are not a tiny minority. If they put so much focus on treating everyone fairly, they should apply the same effort to lunch. Or do vegetarians don't count?

Issue #2-lunch lines
At my old school there were about 1200 people, in 4 lunches. So its about 300 people per lunch, between 100-200 buy lunch everyday. With three lines it takes forever. In fact on worst days, you may have only 10 minutes left to eat everything (and socialize). What is the problem safety and overprotection (and avoiding lawsuits) or else something dangerous might happen. Correction it did: Food tampering The result slow, slow lunch lines; It is at the point where there is a teacher in the beginning of the line, saying if you can enter, so like 5 people can be in the line at a time. Its gotten better, but at one point, you had to ask the lunch lady to hand over the little dishes, that are right in front of you. All of this procession takes very long, unless you are lucky to get there very early. This can be impossible. Especially with middle school lunches being only 25 minutes, lunch lines need immediate rethinking. People deserve time when they can eat, and really talk. Not just stand in line forever, everyday.

Issue #3- Availability
Like I already said we have 4 lunches, and I had the unfortunate of being in the last one and perhaps that was the reason for Issue 1 (I haven't been in the other lunches). The school gets a set amount of food for the day, and they start setting it out, obviously some things are more popular then others. As a result by the last lunch they may be out of some things. Like I know there should be four sides, but all they have is pineapples. Usually it doesn't matter much, most things are of the same quality. And its Ok, that they set them out not accounting that people in latter lunches might want that thing. (You are following, or am I rambling?) They have to sell out, and I have no idea how they manage- I mean its cafeteria food! But there is one thing, that they always sell out off, but sometimes there isn't enough for last lunch: CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES, which is the only good thing they have. And its unfair that just because I am in last lunch, I can't have a cookie. This they can fix easily, they don't even have to divide them evenly for the lunches, just set a tray or two aside. So the last lunch can have the for sure. With cookies being the only thing worth getting, they should take some effort to improve that. Most of you think this is overreacting by now...but chocolate chip cookies...they matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Issue #4 Portions
They are small. Chicken tenders, means 4 not very big pieces. While that may be enough for elementary school, by middle school and high school its not enough. Ok so they increased the meals a tad since elementary school, but not enough. As a result most people get a double deal, which costs more. So why not increase the price a bit, but make all portions bigger. And many times half the food sucks. Hence people get lots of snacks which brings me to the next point.

Issue #5- Healthy eh?
So meals are geared to be healthy, but do they really achieve it. Lets take a look.
Ok...so it might be healthier then your McDonalds, but still not too good. Did I mention it doesn't taste good? The hot dogs are always well to salty, the corn on the cob just gross. And while they are supposed to have fruits and vegetables, but usually its just canned fruit or this thing, but I have no clue what it is. Things teens wouldn't take, instead they take snacks. So the effort of a well-balanced meal goes to waste. And sadly I don't have a solution to get some 500 kids healthy food, but I am just saying- they need to give bigger attention to this issue, and not just the food.

By now some of you might ask, why don't I just bring lunch, why doesn't everyone.
Personally I am either too lazy to pack it or forget to do it in the evening or I keep forgetting to write down everything I need (I'll stop this is a personal rant), so it is my fault. But getting lunch from school is easier and for some people cheaper. Whatever the reason is, school don't give food enough focus.

And while they should try to make the meals healthy, it should still taste healthy. But also leave some of the old stuff, by High School people are old enough to start making their own decisions, or learn the consequences.

For fun, amusing and interesting things from other schools:
"Children in a New Zealand school have been banned from bringing cakes to share on their birthdays, due to new government healthy eating guidelines." -Source

In another school, you couldn't even bring junk food from home, if you got noticed you got detention-true story.

In another school "the new company is apparently cheaper, nicer, yet healthy. They work in other schools with positive feedback, where they do packs for people at lunchtime clubs(a big thing in our school), all fresh produce, local where possible, stuff like salads and sandwiches, but also hot paninis, pizza, and traditional main meals.

they also want to have regualr meetings with the council to see what we think, and receive any ideas or complaints we might have. They have all the healthiness covered by the manager who apparently was in the olympics some time, and knows all about a healthy diet."

Nice school huh?

SO what is it like where you are?
And what do you think teachers should do?

The Popularity Myth: after 8th grade perspective

Well Disney certainly abuses it, could you blame them: an evil popular girl simply begs to be the antagonist. But Disney also has witches, talking cars, villains, and time travel machines, which last time I checked don't exist. If they do, could I have a phone number, please. So this is my analysis of how it works. Please consider my conditions: Middle school, in a fairly upper-middle middle class area in a partially magnet school. I can't provide a very "Disney" lunch time scenario, because in most of their movies the hero vs. mean kid scene is during lunch. For several reasons: a) We had assigned seats, and you would get in trouble if you moved. b) For quite some time this year, I didn't come down to lunch (long story). c) I stuck to a fairly tight-knit group of friends, not big on social experimentations. Still I think I have a fairly comprehensive view on how it works.

For the longest time to me, it seamed that popularity was something simply reserved for tv. There were simply people who were my friends and who were not my friends. The social ladder didn't seam to fit. Ehhh, well turned out it did, maybe in form of a bumpy ramp, but still. In other words there were categories of people, based on several factors, but friendships between them were not subject of a school wide drama. Unlike in High School Musical, it turns out to be not a big deal. Maybe because middle school is about *quote* Finding your niche or place*unquote* there aren't specialized cliques, I don't know I hadn't had the high school experience. But there was nothing much shocking about 'out of level" friendships. In fact on the most popular, secretary of the student government girls was BFFs (Best Friends Forever) with a semi tom-boyish soccer girl. Maybe it was because...(grrr I get side tracked, physc. later) So these divisions are fairly subjective, and classify the person, not necessarily who they are friends with. For as it turns out, you can have very diverse friends. So without further ado: Annie's Classification System *everyones case is different though*
Note: This is for scientific purposes only, I am against judging and classifying people. Except that it is inevitable in school and I wish it wasn't, but reality sucks.

Jocks: What PE teachers think everyone is, except that everyone else doesn't try. Usually set all the records and play many sports. Can be identified, in GYM, as the only people who try. Outside of gym they are fairly average.

"Popular" people/preps: An extremely varied area, contains those who win school elections, fashionably/preppily dressed, rather shallow and outgoing people. Its kind of hard to define, because there are several different groups of them, some who I like and some how I don't. The whole concept of them is slightly intangible, because they are so different. If anything they are social people, hence they probably know more people. Maybe shallow is wrong, too. Some of them are incredibly talented smart people. So maybe popular is a wrong label, instead "Socially outgoing people, who have many friends* While many of them are not bad people, I don't care to be their friend and neither do they, yes there are those among them who are snobs and mean people. But those make up only a percent of the Popular Preps.

People: Not that different from the previous, except less known, less social, and possibly with less friends. They can be very different, but not extreme. Tend to be on the more intellectual side of society, but that too is subjective.

Other: Rare outcasts of society, those who don't bother to be social or at all interact with the rest of the world. Sadly tend to be common victims of bullying.

Now throw this all away and consider that everybody are just people: Smart, funny, some more athletic, some with more friends, some with less, some nice, and some mean.
Sure everyone is just people, does it work that way in school?
Erm since I have apparently gotten my self confused with all these ramblings, I think I will just come to a conclusion. The thing that disney got rich on, doesn't affect the majority, but more of the extremes. Everyone else just has their circle of friends, not really caring about social status, well not too much. Then maybe 2% become the subject of teasing, and rejection from friendships, but our world cannot be perfect. And I think its easy to confuse simple bullying with popularity. In middle school people make friends they like and stick with them, in fact the people may not want to be friends with the preps, because what they care about is so different. Conclusion: Disney is not realistic.

But does popularity exist?
YES! The easiest way to explain it is with school elections. Sure there are the posters and speeches, but no one really listens and looks, they simply vote for their friend or their friends friend. And since popular people tend to have very wide relations, they win. You could ask anyone and they would tell you middle school elections are about popularity. Someone who no one has ever heard of, will never win, even if they are the best candidate. Is that fair? No, but otherwise popularity doesn't really affect personal lives. At least thats what I think. And in High School, who knows I'll see.

How was your experience? ANd what is your opinion on popularity? Your comments are greatly loved.

The Proper Introduction

Hi! *waves shyly*
This is going to be very boring, because I don't feel snarky or sarcastic; consider yourself warned.
So this is my blog and if you are reading this you probably know me. Unless my blog is very famous, or you found it randomly, in which case I hope you are not a creepy stalker. Anyway now you know me. I am going to be a freshman in high school next year, at "nerd school". If you in the other *real* world, then you know what it is, and if you don't then you have no business knowing. I can't even give the initials, because Google (evil) brings it up as a number one search. So I got sidetracked, but this blog is mainly for criticizing, analyzing, and trashing the failed school system. And schools are corrupted, if you haven't noticed. Otherwise it is my haven for ranting, about life, writing (I am a novelist), and etc. And since it is unthemed, it will work, unlike the several blogs I attempted before, and there are certain people, who will force me to write if anything.
Now in case you were curious, why I blog.
To share my oppinion with the world, to make a difference, to reach ultimate fame...right *psht* no. My biggest reason is because I wanted this dorky, geeky shirt:
And I wouldn't want to lie to the world would I? So I decided to start a blog, and at the time I happened to be very annoyed by yearbooks. If my really long rant bellow, didn't suggest that. And I happened to be very bored on the first day of summer vacation, and at last my dear was born. If you want it you comment, if you don't I get the message I will stop...OK

About the title. Some of you said , that you loved it. Thank you, but I'd like you all to know that it refers to someone very real. If you noticed the url, and I certainly hope you know what that is, if you don't I may have to hurt you, anyway the url has the words cochon dingue. For those of you who don't know French, it means crazy pig, hence the title. *Oooooh I get it* So like I said before he is not a figment of imagination, he exists in flesh. Vive le cochon dingue. Sadly I cannot give you a picture, because as real as he is, he isn't mine, but my French 1 teachers. One of the few people, who do not fit under the corrupted school system. And on the last day of the school, instead of taking a picture, I spent twenty minutes huddling him, so use your imagination. You have one....right? If you are still confused he is a cute pink plush pig, who belongs to my old French teacher, but in spirit is here at my blog. Sorry he isn't available, he had a girlfriend, la blonde, once again she is as real as him. So now you know that the title isn't random at all, but for someone near and dear to my heart. I many talk more about this later.

I will take any ideas for blog posts, actually I would almost pay you, because I need things to write about...yeah.
Oh the font problem not my fault, sorry.

Yearbooks part 2

If any teacher reads this, I want to apologize, if this offends you. I am sorry if I am wrong about you and these are just feelings. If you would like to share your view as a teacher that is welcome and appreciated.


So we covered the basics of students signatures.
But I want to refine a couple of details. As you know and may have experienced someone you expected an extra-special note in your yearbook from, end up writing. "Good times in Geometry, Hags" Familiar? Well like I said previously, don't get too upset. THIS DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND. There are many other reasons that I brought up before, which can justify, explain why they did that. It doesn't mean they never cared about you, even though what they did was hurtful and rude. Mais c'est la vie.

For now I want to dissect teacher signature, and yes people do ask teachers to sign yearbooks. Why? That is beside the point, and I am not about to go in detail about physiology, except that wonderful teachers exist and you want to remember them. But for the reference, this may not always be the best way to have a thing to remember. I personally suggest taking a picture, with that you expect it to be cheesy. Because seriously the things teachers write in yearbooks are very cheesy. (I am very sorry to any teachers who may be reading this. I am sure the reasons are professional) I am not going to defend either side, but I will argue both, the teachers and the students.
The things teachers right in yearbooks are always so professional, sincere, and proper. Very very very different from students. While it can be justified.....teachers are adults. But sometimes it feels the comments they make are generic, and they do not bother to make it a wee-bit personalized.(Especially if you are sure, they knew you personally, and you were a good student in their class.) And it may not be easy to pull off something like that, and still keep it a teacher's comment, but you could try. People feel good, when they see that there was a personal thought put into their comment. Also these students are leaving the teacher, could it be that hard to leave something personalized to remember. (I am attempting to remain neutral and unoffensive and probably falling miserably! Sorry, I think teachers are amazing to survive at their job, but this is a personal quirk) Then teachers may have nothing to say to their students, but judging by experience there always is something. (Even if it is like one of my 7th grade teachers, who commented on not being able to get my name right for weeks) That was cute and I know she could have not written that accidentally in any book, because most peoples names are much easier too pronounce. And with many things teachers write, all you can do is wonder did they mean it personally or just wrote it. While it make seam like nothing, writing something truly meaningful or personal, make mean a lot to a student.
On the other hand, STUDENTS what do you expect when you ask a teacher to sign. They are teachers, awesome teachers, but they will not sign like a friend. So don't be surprised by what you get. Even, even if they are the coolest teacher in the world, and you are one of their favorite students, you still may get something fairly cheesy. (Though you results may vary).

Now that my venty is done, we can move on to fun analysis. The snarkiness is for laughs, please don't be offended by it.

• Teachers have a tendency to write I am sure you will succeed in the future or make a special contribution to the world. (No pressure, I hope so too)
• Or something along the lines of "You are a great student to teach" (hmmm maybe I should have gotten in trouble more, then will you write something more original.

• And sometimes also, you are creative, nice, have a good personality. (Hmm thanks for the compliment, but how is this compliment special to me?)

Then again maybe, if you were not a distinguished student in the class, the teacher will not have more to say, but if you were, you'd probably expect a bit more.
So I am done and with it I have an epiphany (such a twilighty word) with yearbooks don't have Great Expectation, as people may not take it as seriously as you expect.

Fun Fact: People right more in 8th grade or which ever year you are leaving the school, then in the others.

Done, criticisms is welcome and hailed.

Yearbooks

I am not going to bother with an introduction, not today....too lazy. Instead I will do my first ramble, post, flow of consciousness vent.
Ahh the end of the year, schools ending and that means it's time for yearbooks! You go around asking people to sign, only to come to the conclusion that you might not have any real friends and memories. All you get is HAGS (have a great summer) or "It was nice to have you in my ' ' class."
This leads to two conclusions people are lazy or people have nothing to say. Then on the other hand maybe they don't realize how much this means to you, and just scribble a note. Except the same people write a lot for others. Like my friend for some people she scribbles a couple of sentences, but for her friends she writes a full page in tiny handwriting. Her reason, "I write a lot for the people I like." Perfectly justifiable. But taking the same logic all but maybe three people don't really like me. So as you see yearbooks open up the sad reality of life and that we have so few real friends. More proof of this is that the popular, yet extremely nice girl, lets call her Sally. Sally's yearbooks is full of very long notes, lots of them. Proof: She has lots of good, real friends I don't. Sigh. But I am her to discuss physiology of yearbook notes, not be shallow and annoying.
So Theory #1 aka I want people to feel sorry for me theory revolves around likings. Theory #2 is the plausible, yet making life more confusing theory. Lets go back to the scenario.
Sally enters a classroom full of people, and immediately she is swamped. 7 people run up to her with their open yearbooks all asking her to sign. They are not strangers, pals even and she wants to write more then her name. Except she doesn't have time to think through it, or remember something special so she writes "I loved having you in this class.-Sally"
Does she hate the person, not at all. They are a good friend, but more of the "talk about whatever during class friend", and with the yearbook in front of her, her mind goes blank. That happens to me, so I try my best to improvise. And sometimes even the best heart-felt attempts turn out pathetic. The best entries contain inside jokes, specific memories, something that only you will get. And to think of that for 15 people in 10 minutes....impossible much. Unless you are a brilliant writer, champion at debate, or very good at improv (or steel people's yearbooks over night). So theory #2 brings us to a summary of most of the time people want to write something good, but get nervous freeze up and in the end leave the wrong impression. Then again in an idealistic world notes should be pure, from the heart, and what you have to say to them, this shouldn't take much thinking, unless we all are barbaric morons.
Train of thought seams to lead me into a dead end, so I will try to restate things.
Maybe length isn't as important, as what people actually say. And real things usually take some length to write.
Much better, now back to my inconclusivenesses.
Reasons why people write bland things in yearbooks: Lack of time, creativity, writer's block, they don't like you. And I got some good ones, not all very long, but once that make you smile, and remember the dearest things. Those people are your real friends, but does not doing that mean they don't really care about you? Possibly, but with all the situations previously mentioned, you cannot know. Yearbooks can show how were dear friends, by the good entries, but by the other entries how can you know. To close of I will quote "Write in others yearbooks, how you want others to write in yours." If you want other people to write something special, do the same. Ok.
For fun I will quote one of my favorite signatures, which is under half a page
Hi Tasia,
Get a really hot bf in TJ, alright?
Oh I almost for got isn't kesh (this guy from my bus) going to TJ too (hint, hint)
ha ha....jk. HAGS+HUGS.
Luv,
Neyha Gangsta.

To you it may be weird and "so what" to me it is hilarious.